Month: December 2014

Please don’t harm yourself tonight

Please don’t harm yourself tonight.
Because you are far more special than you think you are.
Please don’t harm yourself tonight.
What those mean people say isn’t true. You do matter. People care about you.
Please don’t harm yourself tonight.
There’s always another way to release the pain inside
Please don’t harm yourself tonight.

You beautiful skin shouldn’t have marks.

Please don’t harm yourself tonight.
Trust me. There’s always someone that cares.
Please don’t harm yourself tonight.
The voices in your head are wrong.

You’re perfect.
Please don’t harm yourself tonight.
You’re destined to do and be something great.

Please don’t harm yourself tonight.
Put the razor down. Dry your tears.

Breathe. Someone cares. Someone understands.

Please don’t harm yourself tonight.

You’re worth more.

Please don’t harm yourself tonight.

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Why don’t you just punch me in the face?

Why don’t you just punch me in the face.
At least the pain will go away.
You see, when you call someone a name. You don’t just say it once.

“Bitch, slut, faggot, ugly, fatty…”
“Why don’t you just die!”

Please watch what you say.

It replays in the mind. Over and over again. It leaves a permanent scar.

A punch in the face would be a lot less painful. At least the pain goes away.

When you call someone a mean name. It doesn’t matter how much you apologize.
How much someone says otherwise.

“You’re ugly and fat..”

It lasts forever.
Cuts and scrapes and bruises fade.
Words are forever. Please watch what you say.

It’s like crumbling up a piece of paper. And trying to make it the way it was. All neat again.
Once the damage is done, there’s really no going back.

Why don’t you just punch me in the face.
Because that bruise will heal.
Scars from words. They hardly ever heal.

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I love you

He looks at me with longing. Looks from head to toe. Stares into my eyes. Eyes wide. Grabs my waist and hips and pulls me in. “I love you” lifts up my chin. Kissing me ever so soft. Hands. Such big hands. On my waist the whole time. “I love you” he moves slowly. Breathing softly. His breath smelled of toothpaste and milk, cool and crisp. I wanted it to be my only air. That scent. He kisses my neck as my head moves back. His hands are combing through my hair. He stops. Whispers. “I love you”. Moves the hair out of my face softly. Looks at me with those big brown eyes. Unbuttons my shirt. “I love you” he kisses my neck. This time a little bit more force. He goes further down. To my shoulders and breathes in. Reaches for my breast. He places his fingers in the straps of my shoulder. I look at him and he looks into my eyes. “I love you” he un clips my bra from behind. I watch it fall. I look up. He cups my breasts and kisses them. This time a little more force. “I love you” he picks me up and puts me in his bed. Covers underneath me. He crawls on top of me. Knees along my waist “I love you” he sits me up. Grabs my face. Kissing me. His tongue soft and smooth in my mouth.

“I love you”

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It’s just a name

Your name shouldn’t affect me.
But there it is, on my screen. And I’m freaking out.
It’s just a name. A name.
But when someone says that simple four letter name.
I lose it.
Why?
I mean NOTHING to you!
I am NOTHING to you.
But you’re everything to me… Or you were.

So I lose it. Your simple little name on my screen. And I’m losing it.

I have to detox from you.
I have to delete you from my life.
So I won’t feel at all.
Rip off the bandaid.
You can’t go back. Once the bandaid is ripped off, the wound can finally heal.
But what if the would is still there.
What if I rip off the bandaid too early.
What if I’m exposed.

I don’t think I could handle it.
Being exposed.
So to rip off the bandaid or to leave it all there.
Either way I lose. Either way I’m in pain!
Your name shouldn’t affect me.

It’s just a name.

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Today

Today could be someone’s last day. Someone could be taking their last breathe as we read.
Today
Today could be someone’s first day. Someone could be taking their very first breath. Right now. As we read.
Today is the now.
We have choices on what will happen to us in between our first and last breathe.
Who we will become. What we will experience. Who will impact us. Who will be nothing to us and who will be everything to us. We have choices.

Many of them
Choices we make today that will alter our tomorrow.
Tomorrow is not promised.
Yesterday is already gone.
We are only given today.

So, how will you spend your today?

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I will ride with you.

I step on to the train. Everyone looks the same. But… They’re all looking at me. Some hateful, others scared. I heard the news, I read the feed on twitter. A crazy person hurt innocent people. AGAIN.
And I’m to blame.
Today is not easy for me.
“I didn’t do it” ” It wasn’t me” ” I couldn’t imagine hurting another human being”.

I wish they would see, Islam is beautiful and is a big part of me.

Some of you get it. Some of you know the fear of stepping on a train.
And you instantly feel pain. You feel like you don’t belong. You feel you’re to blame.

They make you feel like… Like you’re wearing a “IM A TERRORIST” sticker on your head.
Some of you know. Someone of you know the truth.

I stepped on the train that day. A look of fear and a quivered sigh.
I see someone that understands. She doesn’t know me.
But she says “hey, it’s okay. I’ll ride with you”

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Eleanor and Park

Their love was young
Their love was pure
Their love was simple
It was the world that complicated it all.

With little cassette tapes of music only they understood.
With comic books and witty remarks. Conversations and silence only they could have. With bus rides that turned into something much more.
With hugs and kisses that should have lasted forever.

With her red hair and his black eyeliner. With her clothes that screamed “Eleanor” and his black simple shirts. Nobody understood their love.

Their love was pure.
Their love was simple.

It was their world that complicated it all.

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Apple

As I reach into the crisper of my fridge for an apple I look down on it and I see that it has scars and bruises on the outside.
I immediately put it back and got a shinny apple. Which would you choose? Not just apples. People.
The shinny new one or the slightly damaged.
The damage is only on the outside. Who knows what lies in that first bite.

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